Navigating the au pair rematch process can feel stressful for many host families. While the goal is always to have a smooth and successful year with your au pair, sometimes rematches are necessary and can lead to a more positive experience for everyone involved. Understanding why rematches happen and what to expect can ease some of the anxiety surrounding the process.

We’ll breaking down the most common reasons for rematches, how the process works, and the best steps to take if your au pair situation isn’t working out.

Common causes of conflict

The most frequent causes of conflict between host families and au pairs are communication issues and personality differences. Clear communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, and when it’s lacking, frustrations can build and trust may break down. Many communication issues can be resolved with more open dialogue, so it’s a good idea to schedule regular check-ins to discuss what’s working well and address any concerns.

Personality clashes can also cause tension, and while it’s unrealistic to expect major personality changes, taking time to understand each other’s perspectives can lead to improved relationships.

What to do when it’s not working out

If things aren’t going smoothly with your au pair, address the issue as soon as possible. Find a time to calmly express your concerns and give your au pair space to share their thoughts. Open communication can often resolve smaller issues before they escalate.

If the situation doesn’t improve after your own efforts, it’s time to involve your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC). Your LCC can help mediate conversations, offer solutions, and develop a plan to address the issues.

If the problems persist despite these efforts, your LCC may recommend moving forward with an exit interview to begin the rematch process.

Navigating the transition process

The exit interview marks the start of the rematch process. During this meeting, you and your au pair will agree on the next steps, including the au pair’s schedule for the final two weeks and any adjustments to house rules, such as curfew or car use.

You’ll also decide whether your au pair will continue working or be relieved of childcare duties during this period. If they continue working, they are entitled to their stipend. If not, the stipend is no longer required. However, you will need to provide room and board for up to two weeks to allow your au pair time to find a new host family. While this period may feel awkward, it is crucial to treat your au pair with care and respect, as you would any family member.

Finding your next caregiver

Once the rematch process begins, Cultural Care support staff will help you find a new au pair who is a better fit for your family. You may also want to consider hosting an in-country au pair—someone who is already in the U.S. and seeking a new host family. In-country au pairs are often available to start quickly, making them a good option if you need immediate childcare.

It’s a good idea to have a backup plan in place during the rematch process, as finding the right au pair may take time. Once you’ve selected your next au pair, your Cultural Care support team will coordinate their arrival at your home.

It's okay to prioritize a positive experience for all

While rematches can be challenging, they’re designed to help both families and au pairs find the best fit and ensure a positive experience in the au pair program.