From Host Mom Jill Janson

Around the holidays, our first au pair, whom we adored, told us she needed to return home a few months earlier than planned. While we completely understood and supported her decision, we were left frantically trying to figure out what to do next. The timing was not great, to say the least.

We were unprepared and about to have a house full of family for the next 10 days. I have to admit I felt overwhelmed at the thought of interviewing and training someone new immediately after the holiday rush. Not to mention the emotional toll of saying goodbye to someone we cared for deeply and who had become our little girl’s best friend.

But the fact was, the change was happening—sooner than expected—and the only thing we could do was make the best of it, taking everything one step at a time.

Reflecting on Our First Au Pair Experience

My husband and I sat down to reflect on our experience with our first au pair:

• What worked well?

• What did we love about the program?

• What could we improve?

We realized we could have set better expectations and communicated more clearly. As laid-back people, we’d taken the approach of “figuring it out as we went along.” Looking back, we saw that providing more structure and organization would have helped our au pair better manage her day and the responsibilities of caring for our baby.

This was an opportunity to make positive changes. We updated our household handbook, adding more specific suggestions to serve as a better guide for our next au pair.

Lessons Learned: Practical Preparations

We were grateful we’d kept on file the resources we had provided to our first au pair. Updating and reusing these saved us a lot of time. For example, we had:

• A printout with our Wi-Fi password, essential phone numbers, and home address.

• Instructions for setting up her cell phone.

• Tips for using the TV.

We also knew how helpful and fun it was to take our au pair on a tour of the town during her first days with us. So, we planned to do this again, visiting local parks, beaches, shops, and restaurants, while also setting up her bank account.

Matching with a New Au Pair

When it came to matching with a new au pair, we wanted someone with similar credentials and goals as our first au pair. However, because we were looking at the smaller in-country pool, we stayed open-minded about factors like country, age, and departure date.

The interviewing tip sheets from Cultural Care Au Pair were invaluable, guiding us through the process. Our current au pair even spoke with prospective candidates to share her perspective on the role and our family.

Though the au pair we liked best had an earlier departure date than we’d hoped, we loved everything else about her. Within a few days, we finalized the match. Having a candidate we were excited about lifted a huge weight off our shoulders.

Welcoming Our New Au Pair

With the match confirmed, we felt prepared:

• Our household handbook was updated.

• We had a plan for her first few days.

• We knew what to expect this time around.

Saying goodbye to our first au pair was the hardest part of the transition. Watching her say goodbye to our baby was emotional and made me realize it was probably even harder for her than it was for us.

Despite the rush to prepare for our new au pair, we made an effort to cherish the last weeks with her. Thanks to technology, we can now Skype regularly and share photos and videos with the click of a button.

A Fresh Start

A few months into our new match, things couldn’t be better. Our new au pair is wonderful, and our daughter loves her. To our delight, she’s decided to extend her time with us, making my initial concerns about her early departure irrelevant!

This experience taught me that an unexpected change can be positive—even when the timing feels impossible. It gave us a chance to:

• Evaluate what worked and what didn’t.

• Revise our household handbook and rules.

• Reuse resources we had created, saving time.

• Stay open-minded to find the best candidate.

• Understand that saying goodbye doesn’t mean goodbye forever.

Now, we feel more experienced and better prepared for this next chapter.