Choosing the right childcare provider isn’t easy. With so many options—each with its own pros and cons—it can be tough to know what’s best for your family.
Au pairs are becoming an increasingly popular solution, and for good reason. In this post, we’ll walk through the pros and cons of au pair childcare to help you decide if it’s the right fit for your household.
What is au pair childcare, really?
Au pair childcare offers families the unique opportunity to bring a young adult from another country into their home to provide childcare for up to two years. In the U.S., the au pair program is regulated by the U.S. Department of State, and sponsor organizations like Cultural Care Au Pair support host families and au pairs throughout the matching process and program experience.
The real benefits of hosting an au pair
There are countless reasons families choose au pair childcare, and host mom Janet from New Jersey sums them up beautifully: “As first-time parents, the program gave us the trust, flexibility, and peace of mind we needed during such a pivotal time. It not only introduced us to a loving and reliable caregiver, but also brought the beauty of cultural exchange into our home—all while keeping our childcare costs affordable.”
Seeing that hosting an au pair is often the most affordable childcare option—and with its unique blend of flexibility and the opportunity to build a close bond with someone from another part of the world—the au pair program offers something few other childcare options can. With the pros and cons of au pair childcare on our mind, let's start with the pros.
Flexible childcare that adapts to your schedule
One of the biggest advantages of au pair childcare is its unmatched flexibility. Au pairs can provide up to 45 hours of care per week and up to 10 hours per day—all based on a schedule that works for your family—including early mornings, evenings, and weekends.
As host mom Mikaela in Tennessee puts it, “We are a military pilot and doctor family, so our au pair’s schedule can be weird. She is flexible and goes with the flow, and we are so grateful for her!”
You can also easily tailor your au pair’s schedule around school hours. In fact, many au pairs enjoy working split shifts. Plus, their flexibility makes it simple to adjust care during summer breaks, weekly playdates, or whenever your family routine shifts.
Affordable childcare—especially for larger families
A common myth about au pair childcare is that it’s prohibitively expensive. In reality, the cost of hosting an au pair is often more affordable than other childcare options, especially for families with multiple children.
Families pay a fee to the au pair agency and a minimum weekly stipend directly to their au pair. Even when accounting for additional costs, such as car insurance and groceries, the total cost of au pair childcare is often comparable to or less than that of daycare or a nanny.
Help with child-related household chores
A big part of parenting stress isn’t just raising kids—it’s managing the endless household tasks that come with them. Take kids’ laundry, room pick-up, and meal prep off your plate, and things suddenly feel a lot more manageable. With the right support, it’s easier to enjoy quality time with your kids instead of always racing through your to-do list.
That’s another one of the advantages of the au pair program. As long as their responsibilities fall within the 45-hour-per-week and 10-hour-per-day limits, au pairs can handle all child-related household tasks. That includes making kids’ meals, packing lunches, cleaning rooms, organizing toys, folding laundry, and more.
For host mom Kristin in Minnesota—who’s hosted three au pairs for her three young boys—the support has been transformative. “Leoni has been an extremely positive addition to our family,” she shares. “She manages the boys’ schedules, comes up with daily activities, and takes care of them like they are her little brothers. She keeps their rooms tidy, does all of their laundry, and organizes their rooms and toys. Her help around the house is invaluable.”
Deep trust and long-term relationships
One of the most meaningful benefits of hosting an au pair is the deep trust that naturally forms between your family and your caregiver. Many Cultural Care host families describe a profound sense of comfort in knowing their children are being cared for by someone who feels like family.
Because au pairs live in your home and share in your daily life, that closeness builds quickly. They get to know your family’s routines, values, and rhythms—and your kids get to build a bond with someone who’s present, consistent, and truly invested in their growth.
Erin, a host mom from Kansas, shares: "As a host mom, I can confidently say that this experience has been transformative not only for our daughter, Harper, but for our entire family. Inviting an au pair into our home is more than just arranging childcare—it’s about building a relationship based on trust, shared values, and mutual respect. From the moment Thembeka joined our family, she brought a level of care, dedication, and cultural richness that exceeded every expectation.”
A daily cultural learning experience for your kids
Last but not least, hosting an au pair brings the world to your doorstep. Au pairs love sharing their language, traditions, holidays, and favorite recipes—giving your family a chance to experience another culture in a meaningful, hands-on way. At the same time, they’re eager to learn about life in the U.S.
This kind of exchange fosters a broader worldview in your children and can help them grow into more open-minded, globally aware individuals. It can even inspire your family to see your own hometown with fresh eyes and explore more of your local area together.
Vermont host mom Hannah—who welcomed Italian au pair Asya—says the cultural exchange experience has been nothing short of magical for her 5- and 2-year-olds: “Asya has introduced us to her Italian heritage in thoughtful and personal ways. She’s brought us delicious desserts and treats, and even taught our five-year-old to count in Italian, sparking a new excitement around language and learning.”
And the impact doesn’t end when the au pair’s year is over. In a 2024 survey of former Cultural Care host children, 96% said hosting au pairs helped them better understand other cultures and more than half said it helped them learn another language.
Considerations every family should think through
The pros and cons of au pair childcare are nuanced, and before you decide to host an au pair—or even download the Cultural Care app to get started—it’s important to consider some of the potential disadvantages of the au pair program. These au pair challenges may include a temporary loss of privacy, the adjustment period with your au pair, the emotional labor involved in hosting, and the importance of strong, consistent communication.
Hosting an au pair means sharing your home and giving up some privacy
Since au pairs live with you as a member of your family, your home will become their home as well. While most families find this trade-off to be manageable or even negligible, it's important to consider how this might impact your family's sense of privacy and comfort.
With au pairs, there's an adjustment period
Au pairs are not professionally trained childcare providers and come from a different country, which means that they will need time to adjust to their new responsibilities and surroundings.
The U.S. State Department specifies that an adult must be present with the au pair for the first three days after their arrival. However, it typically takes about 3–4 weeks for them to fully settle into their routine and become comfortable in their new role.
Hosting an au pair requires emotional support and patience
Because au pairs are young adults traveling solo to the U.S., they'll need support from their host family throughout the year. This support does not have to do with the emotional labor of childcare, it's more about lessening their homesickness and making them feel like they are a part of your family. You should ask about their day, invite them to join in on family activities, include them during holidays, and provide comfort when they need it.
As your au pair continues to meet up the Local Childcare Coordinator (LCC) and build their own social network, they'll become more independent. However, you'll still need to be there for them. This isn’t necessarily a drawback—supporting your au pair can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience, but it is an important aspect to consider before deciding to host.
Communication is everything (and it’s not always easy)
Another possible disadvantage of the au pair program is communication. Since English may not be their first language, communication with an au pair can be more challenging than with a childcare provider who was born and raised in the U.S. However, au pairs typically improve their English quickly with practice and support.
The most challenging period is usually at the start, as both you and your au pair are adjusting to each other and the au pair is adjusting life in the U.S. It's crucial that you clearly communicate your host family expectations right when the au pair arrives to help mitigate any potential misunderstandings.
As your au pair grows more comfortable and proficient in English, you’ll find that the initial communication challenges fade, leading to a smooth and rewarding experience for everyone involved.
The pros and cons of au pair childcare: is hosting an an au pair the right move for me?
Choosing the right childcare solution for your family is a big decision, and often, not an easy one. Every option comes with its own set of pros and cons, and it’s important to weigh those carefully against your family’s unique needs, values, and lifestyle. If you're asking yourself "is an au pair worth it," take the time to reflect on what matters most to you. Asking yourself thoughtful questions can help determine if the au pair program aligns with your expectations—and whether it has the potential to be the supportive, enriching childcare experience your family is looking for.
Ask these questions first...
1. What is my weekly budget for childcare?
A. Based on where I live, a daycare center or family daycare would be the best financial solution
B. Based on where I live, the cost of hosting an au pair or a nanny share would be more affordable than daycare
2. Which is more important?
A. Socialization for my child
B. One-on-one attention and the ability to choose a specific caregiver
3. How much flexibility do I need?
A. Little to none; my family’s schedule doesn’t change much
B. The option to schedule coverage outside of traditional work hours would be a big benefit
4. Could I use some help with household chores related to the kids? Or an extra driver? Or someone to help with homework?
A. I don’t really need any extra help
B. Help with kid-related chores, driving and homework would be beneficial
5. How soon do I need childcare?
A. I’ve got plenty of time to figure it out
B. I need someone in the next couple of months or less.
6.How much control do I want over my child’s environment?
A. I’m happy leaving the daily activities and environment to someone else to worry about
B. I prefer having more control over where my children are and what they’re doing all day
7. Am I interested in cultural exchange?
A. I could take it or leave it
B. Yes, I would love to expose my children to a different culture
8. Would live-in care be an acceptable option for me?
A. No, I don’t have the room and/or a live-in just isn’t for me
B. Yes, I would consider a live-in caregiver
9. How willing am I to invest time into a relationship with my caregiver?
A. Not very; I don’t have it in me to invest time and energy into another relationship in my life
B. I would be willing to nurture a relationship with my caregiver if I thought it would benefit my family
If you scored mostly A's, you may be best suited to: center-based or family daycare
If you scored an equal number of A's & B's you may be best suited to: a nanny
If you scored mostly B's you may be best suited to: au pair childcare
Alternatives to consider (if au pairs aren't the right fit)
If the advantages of an au pair program don't feel like they're enough for your family, that’s okay. Every family has different needs, comfort levels, and limits when it comes to childcare—that's why the au pair vs. nanny vs. daycare center conversation is important.
Traditional daycare centers offer structured environments with set hours and socialization opportunities for kids. And hiring a nanny can provide your family with personalized, live-out care. What matters most is choosing a solution that aligns with your lifestyle and gives you peace of mind.
Final thoughts: making the experience positive for everyone
As parents, the decisions we make around childcare shape so much of our family’s day-to-day life and our children’s growth. The best thing you can do is take time to explore your options—including the pros and cons of au pair childcare—and choose the one that truly fits your family.